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Human beings are meaning making machines. What does that mean? It means this. Everything that happens, we make it mean something. So for example, in my case, if I call someone and I ask them to call me back and they don’t call me back, I make it mean ‘they don’t love me, they don’t care, they don’t respect me’. That’s the meaning I put to it but what actually happened was ? They didn’t call me, that’s all that happened but I put tremendous meaning and emotion behind it. Same thing, if say your spouse doesn’t pick up something off the floor you can make it mean they don’t care for yo, they don’t respect you, he’s doing it deliberately. But what actually happened was this. He didn’t pick up the piece of linen off the floor. That is all that happened - nothing more and nothing less.Once you realize the emotion that’s attached to the smallest of things and compare it to what actually happened and you have that distinction you don’t have to get so upset or you don’t have to get upset at all. You can be calm, collected and you get power back into your life. Instead of always reacting you can respond. There’s a difference between reacting and responding. A reaction is always immediate and is normally negative. A response is calm, collected, chosen. It is incredibly powerful. It’s immensely valuable to be able to see what actually happened and what you make it mean. If you can get that distinction, that will help you in your relationships. It will help you with yourself. You will feel calmer, more at peace, more fulfilled.


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