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When a crime of domestic violence is committed that ends in murder, it can easily become a headline. Headlines vary, there is the national level like the O.J. Simpson phenomenon, and then there is the local news. In either facet the victim of the crime quickly becomes obsolete.

 In the beginning of the investigations and court hearings it is often vocalized that this is all about the “Jane Doe” victim. However, many often question is it really? I am inclined to agree. Sadly the focus tends to turn to the perpetrator. Now I fully understand, respect, and am grateful for the fact the authorities, and newscasters want to learn all there is to know about a person who could perform such a heinous crime. At the same time I am saddened at how the victim tends to fall by the waste side. We learn all the gruesome details of the crime, the attributes of the perpetrator, and the abusive relationship the two shared. We hear from the perpetrator’s family. We learn listen to tales of people stating how “they never could’ve imagined him doing such a thing”. How the perp was “such a good person” and etc. Rarely, do we ever hear about the true character of the victim. In fact we often lose sight of what the victims name even is! Instead some members of society even opt to go so far as to blame to victim for their tragic ending. No one ever stops to consider the families left behind. The parents, the siblings, and most importantly the kids!  We bring so many glorifications to the apprehension, and punishment of the perpetrator that we forget to celebrate the victim. The wonderful mother, daughter, cousin, friend, and person she was. The endurance she had to have possessed to live in the torment of the abuse and no one ever know.

 The victim’s legacy needs to remain in jubilee. The fact of the matter is we need to change a lot about how domestic violence is handled. Sadly if  I wanted to jog your memory about a murder due to domestic violence and only provided you the name of the perpetrator odds are you could recall it. However if I only provided the name of the victim, chances are you would have to think twice, if you were even able to recall it at all. That is the issue! That is what we have to change. As if it is not enough that these victims have to endure the pain, judgment, and scrutiny of domestic violence while living, we further scrutinize them and their families in their death. The message is sent that they are unimportant, their struggle is their own, and we are more concerned with why the perpetrator behaves the way he does. All of these are characteristics their abusers told them people would do. Compassion for the victim is what is needed. Not just justice in the form of punishment to the perpetrator, but also celebration to life of the victim.

 I encourage people to take a moment to stop and think, what if it were your sister, mother, or daughter? How would you want them to be remembered?  Would your loved one becoming a faceless, nameless victim in the war against domestic violence be okay with you?

To read this blog and others like it, please visit my blog at mzinquisition.com

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