It Not Your Fault!

[Shun Bowling]

I feel the need to make a quick outreach for someone. I am not sure who. Someone, somewhere needs to hear this. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! I am speaking of the abuse. We have now come to know 1 in 4 women have experienced domestic violence  in her lifetime. Sadly, a woman is beat every 15 seconds by her husband or partner in the United States. This particular blog  is intended for those of you who find yourself at a crossroads. You are feeling, confused, hurt, experiencing feelings of betrayl and abandonment. I just want you to know you are not alone and it is not your fault!

I am sure have heard from someone, somewhere before that is not your fault. If you have not please understand that you are not to blame for your abuse. Trust me I know your abuser wants you to believe otherwise. Do not believe it, it is a trick. The make-up of abuse is manipulation. Your abuser has meticulously isolated you from your support system. Your abuser has intentionally separated you from those who truly care for you and your well being.  However they are still there for you. Your abuser has  probably embedded in you a mindset that these people are not good for, do not care for you, or have abandoned you, when that could not be further from the truth. Your friends and family love you. They respect you and your wishes and have fallen back as your abuser has pushed them away. They are still there for you. They are concerned for you. They care about and cry for you. Your mind has also probably been configured into believing that you are weak and unimportant. Please hear me, It is also another trick. You are stronger than you know and more relevant  than your abuser will ever admit.

The abuse your partner unleashes unto you is fueled  by his or her own shortcomings. It is NOT anything you say or do. I'm sure your partner has many excuses in which he/she employs to  abuse you. Probably things like, "It's the drugs", "I was drunk", "It's your fault", or of course there is the notorious "You made me do it". These are all pathetic  excuses to evade the truth. Your abuser is using you as a scapegoat  to avoid  accepting responsibility for his or her actions.

I could go on and on, but it should become redundant as you have probably heard it all before from another source at some point in your relationship. Well I am going to to attempt to once again bring to you clarity from a standpoint different than most.

Lets get personal. Have you ever been battered because you discovered your partner was cheating on you? Maybe you "spoke out of turn", were "mouthy", or wore the wrong outfit. Perhaps you were gone too long on a trip to the grocery store, or went to visit you parents too long. Answering yes to ANY of those questions, does not make it your fault. It means you have an negative, controlling, insecure partner. You are a person who has the right to not be cheated on, lied to, beat on, wear whatever you want, speak to whomever you want, whenever you want, have opinions and visit your parents. Truth be told if your partner really loved you he/she would encourage those things.

So if you are at a crossroads or feeling lost. Your first step is realizing you are not alone. The second is realizing you do have the inner strength to break free from the violence. The third is to utilize  the support from your friends, family , and organizations that are there for you.  The last most important reason is to realize  that the abuse you endured and may be subjected to as you envoke your right to a safe, is understanding the abuse is not your fault!

To read this blog and more please visit my blog at: mzinqusition.com